The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
You can't be late until you show up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway...
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them!
Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?
That's it for today... will keep you posted ;)
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them!
Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
I'm leaving now to go find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?
That's it for today... will keep you posted ;)
gr8 ones...
ReplyDeletenjoyed some of them thoroughly with a big smile on my face ;-)
cya